I love it when a plan comes together and the fact that the radiation was doing it’s job on this buggery new tumor gave us just the boost we needed to believe all would be well. However, after my radiation treatment this morning, we met with my radiologist, Dr. Littles who informed us that there is an overlap on my spine that requires radiation but also received radiation last year. In this type of case, more harm than good could come of it. In my case, irreversible damage to my spine, possibly causing paralysis.
We chose radiation over surgery because there are so many possible risks involved with surgery, not to mention 4-6 months of recuperation time. In that time, I would be unable to receive chemotherapy or any other treatment, let alone travel to receive the treatment.
Here we are burning away the tumor, having positive results and happy that a plan is in place that is working and BAM! We should no longer use radiation treatment. Ironically, the Sirius 70s station played at the Radiology Center started the song, “Burn, Baby Burn (Disco Inferno)” while I was receiving treatment this morning…lol. Thought that was funny. I needed that giggle.
The news from Dr. Littles really upset me because we already knew treatment options were pretty much exhausted. We didn’t know what to expect.
Hubs had set up an appointment with my oncologist so we could get the low down on what to do next, especially since we had not seen him since I was admitted to the hospital Saturday. Being that my tumor grew so fast and resisted the last chemotheraphy treatment I received, Dr. Hurtubise wants us to go to Texas to MD Anderson ASAP. Time is of the essence since the little bugger popped up so quickly. Specializing in ONLY cancer, MD Anderson is the best in the nation. This gives me hope. The news today absolutely crushed and devastated my positive spirit that I have worked so hard to maintain over the last 13 months.
The idea of this journey continuing or worse, me getting sicker or possibly dying, leaving my girls and Fred brings me to my knees. It terrifies me. Those poor girls have already lost so much and I don’t want to leave them. There are graduations, weddings, grandkids and other major milestones I want to witness and I’m sure they want me to take part in.
The doc says, my odds “are not zero”. Yeah. I like my stats, I’m a total stats nerd but being told that my odds are not zero does not exactly build a lot of confidence. I make light of this but I am struggling to maintain my composure at this point and not break down for the 1,000th time today.
I need to research MD Anderson and learn what they have to offer. A dear friend who is housing us during our stay in Texas has already poked around their website and has given her thumbs up. I’ve been too scared to check it out for once because we all know that researching on the internet usually ends up causing more strife! But I will now, for I hope it gives me the juice I need to boost my positive spirit once again.
Due to the haste at which we need to get to Texas, we are asking for help to pay for the flights. We expect to leave early next week and we will need to fly commercial. I expect that I will stay for treatment instead of coming back with Hubby but he may need to fly back and forth, who knows, I may, too. There is not always time to arrange for the free flights due to the fast-growing nature of this latest tumor. Time is of the essence. If you feel compelled to give, please use the following link to make a secure donation Go Fund Me Kindergarten Crush.
And please, share this website, the Kindergarten Crush Facebook page or KCrush Twitter page to spread the word. I have not worked since my diagnosis 13 months ago so any donation is helpful and so very much appreciated.
Always, your prayers and well wishes go so far. As I said, I am completely devastated by today’s news and for the first time since this journey began, I am immobilized with fear instead of hope and positivity. Please keep praying, Peeps. Thank you for your help. Much love to you all.